A Child's Place maintains written policies that guide our approach to major issues
and provide a common understanding of many practical and safety related
issues. Our policies reflect current state and federal regulations as well as best
practices in early childhood educaiton. We suggest that all parents become familiar with our policies
and we encourage you to contact your child's head teacher or the Executive
Director if you have any questions. Our programs and policies reflect the
contributions of all involved and are updated regularly to reflect parent
feedback as well as changes in state and federal regulations and best
professional practices.
TRANSITION AND SEPARATION
Your child will learn many coping skills in the next few years, and dealing positively with change is a skill that we want all children to acquire with confidence and strength. While many adults find transitions difficult and unsettling, young children are especially vulnerable; they are beginners in every sense of the word and hold very little control over the world around them. Feeling safe is a direct reflection on what they perceive from the adults around them. The sadness you may be feeling in leaving your child may be perceived by her as concern for her safety in a new place. A pick-up that is primarily concerned with talking to the teacher minimizes the intense feelings of love and excitement a child experiences when you return. Below are a few suggestions that have evolved from many experiences by both families and staff:
Separating
- Arrive on time and greet your teacher as a friend, someone to whom you are comfortable entrusting your child. Your child needs to hear from you that he will be safe when you are not there.
- Your child may need a comfort item—a stuffed animal or other “piece of home.” Only one, please, and nothing that will cause great trauma if you should leave it here!
- Tell your child when you’ll return—“I’ll be here after you eat your lunch.” Some children need to hear what you will do without them. (Don’t make it sound too fun, though!)
- Do not leave without saying good-bye. Learning to say good-bye and to trust that you will come back can only be taught to your child by you.
- When you are ready to separate from your child, engage the teacher in the process. Teachers will hold back, waiting for your cue. When you hand your child over to his teacher, you are confirming your trust in that adult.
- Say good-bye quickly and confidently, reassuring your child that you know his teachers will take good care of him and have lots of fun things to do. Save any distress you may be feeling about leaving your little one until you are out the door; that distress will be translated as fear and will rattle the most confident of children.
- Find your comfort level. Call the office as many times as you need or stay in the office until you are secure that your child has made a successful separation.
Reconnecting
Adults are proficient in recognizing and respecting the stresses of separation; however, the intense feelings a child has upon reconnecting have not always been accorded the same respect. While a child may be adjusting wonderfully to the activities in the classroom, she is exerting great energy in learning how to cope, taking chances in a new environment, handling situations she has never before encountered, and watching for reactions from the “new” adults in her life. When you walk back into the room, it may well release a flood of emotions—from pure joy and excitement to tears of relief that you did, in fact, come back! Whatever the reaction, respect the intensity of those feelings as well as the overwhelming need she has for your undivided attention.
- A basic tenet of Early Childhood Education is to always be eye level with a child. Not only is this a sign of respect and personal concern, but it also eliminates other distractions. Quietly approaching your child, kneeling down to his level, and offering a hug and smile will end the school session on a wonderfully positive note and begin your time with him just as positively. These few short moments are a truly worthwhile investment.
- Say good-bye to your child’s teacher, putting the final positive spin on the day; then leave with your child. For many weeks, your child’s anxiety level will be relatively high at this time. Your reconnection needs to stay personal and quiet, giving your child time to calm down in his most secure environment—with you.
- Don’t be surprised if your child cannot recount the happenings of his day. You will likely find out more during a quiet moment at bedtime than you will as he is reconnecting and settling back into the world he knows best.
You are your child’s life teacher and as is the case with so many other parenting issues, re-examining your own attitudes about transitions is helpful when passing on these life skills. “Developmentally appropriate” is a phrase that guides our profession; if you are not familiar with the cognitive or social/emotional guidelines for your child’s age, please do not hesitate to confer with the staff. If we do not know the answer, we know the resources that will help all the caring adults in your child’s life.